Episode 1936 Scott Adams - We've Achieved Funny New Levels Of Absurdity. Join Me For A Sip & Laugh

good morning everybody and welcome to another highlight of civilization coffee with Scott Adams the finest experience of your life so far tomorrow's looking good too now if you'd like to take it up to levels of happiness that we didn't even know were possible until recently all you need is a cup of mug or a glass attacker jealous this time a canteen drug or flask of a vessel of any kind and fill it with your favorite liquid I like coffee and join me now for the unparalleled pleasure that don't be anything means everything better it's called the simultaneous Sip and it happens all over the world now go very good very good yeah that's some good stuff well the good news is the Dilbert website is restored so from Friday through Tuesday it was pretty well hosed I I don't have any updates myself so I don't know what the problem was or why it took so long but my initial initial belief was it was probably a bad hack I don't know but it's back up and is working and that's all good did you know that Intel the company the company Intel has developed a deep fake detector apparently you can look at a deep fake you know a digital image of a person and they can even pick up like apparently changes in blood flow I I don't know how it picks that up but it thinks it can and so that would be awesome 96 is pretty good I would think that the ones that we cared about would be the ones we can't detect but um and then I wondered I wonder if you could build a detector to detect NPCs and do you remember the Battle Star Galactica where part of the technology was they could detect the uh this Androids I guess so they could detect the people who looked exactly like people the the cylons yeah they look exactly like people but they were really young mechanical uh here's how I think you could build an NPC detector it goes like this you just go up to somebody you want to check and then you say hey I heard about a really good form of exercise the experts are saying it's an excellent form of exercise and it's kind of new and uh you know it seems to hit all the notes and all the experts say it's a really good form of exercise now what you do is then you wait that's that that primes the detector what you're waiting for is for somebody to say swimming is the best form of exercise and then you got them that's an NPC because the NPCs will only say the most obvious thing you could say in that situation right so just ask that just say oh this is new form of exercise and just wait swimming is the best form of exercise gotcha I gotcha so you try that try that on your so-called relatives over the holidays find out how many your so-called relatives if you know what I mean are real all right um San Francisco is going full racist um the city of San Francisco fired a person who is in charge of its elections the the elections Department chief whose performance was good there was no problem whatsoever and the people who fired him says no there's no problem with his performance he had one problem that they couldn't overlook white and male and they said how in the world are we ever going to have diversity at the senior levels of responsibility if these white people are clogging up the progress they're keeping these jobs so there was a white guy who was like ruining everything by simply having a job and doing it well according to everybody and because he had a job and he did it well he was obviously sort of a racist because he was blocking out any chance of diversity because there were only so many jobs so he got fired um I would love to be the lawyer who handles that lawsuit because if that's not a slam dunk I don't know anything if you can't win that lawsuit I I don't know anything about anything am I wrong don't you just have to show up to win that one so why was why was he fired well he was fired because he's a white male and that's the end of the case isn't it or could you get a jury in San Francisco who said I'd like to hear more I'd like to hear the other side of this only in San Francisco could the actual employer say well we do stipulate we do admit performance was great he was only fired because of his uh he was a white male and and then only in San Francisco would somebody say I'll need to hear more I'd like to hear you know because probably you know there's an argument on the other side um I'm not so sure no standing all right here is the most horrifying humorous story of the day can we agree there's nothing funny about people dying because we're all good people right it is not my fault that there's a story in which this is just horrendous like a a human tragedy of the of the highest level and still something came out of it that I can't ignore all right I didn't want to talk about you know mass shootings but you all know there was a lgbtq nightclub that got shot up I don't want to talk about those details although except there was a I think an army veteran who took him out took him down so so thank you for your service twice there's somebody you can thank for his service twice once for I think three tours in Iraq and once we're taking down the shooter and the lgbtq club interestingly he was neither he was not lgbtq he was just a fan he just liked the environment he was having a great time with his family and you know they have some connection to the community I guess so he's a big fan of the LGBT community but I bet they're pretty happy he was there because uh if you listen to his description I'll tell you this is the best argument for diversity you'll ever get now when I say diversity I mean all the ways people think differently act differently have different experiences different life truths you know like all the whole realm of diversity do you know why because this military guy in that club as he described it when the shooting started he ran toward it you ran toward it how much training do you have to have to run toward gunfire well I don't have that although I can't guarantee I wouldn't run toward it because I do like danger more than I should um that's amazing isn't it it's amazing so if you didn't have one person with that kind of let's call it diverse the person with diverse experience and diverse I don't know maybe even philosophy about what to do in that situation if you didn't have that guy there would have been a lot more people dead right so there's a there's a case where diversity of one type really made a difference um but here's the story which I hate to be amused by this because you know the larger story is a tragedy of course but apparently the accused shooter um is identifying as non-binary which we cynical people suspect may not be entirely on the up and up because part of the uh part of the charges would be hate crime related because of where it was but he the the uh they apparently we do not speak of the alleged shooter as he anymore that's the old way we now refer to the shooter as they so they has established a non-binary identity and I don't know what is funnier the fact that it might work my work you know and maybe he is can we rule out the possibility that the shooter actually does identify as non-binary I think that's entirely possible I don't know that's why it might work and but the funny part is that the the left has a very strong rule that you get to identify yourself it's not for other people to tell you what you are so I believe he's embracing and amplifying if you know what I mean he may be taking the left's own philosophy and just saying all right if those are my rules I'll play by your rules how do you like it or his lawyer is Right some combination of him plus his lawyer so uh watching CNN's Ellison camarado deal with this news and not know what to say about it because she can't be anti-identify whatever you want that's not going to really work with the CNN brand even the revising in brand uh and she can't say it's not true because they don't have they don't have that reporting there's nobody to say it's not true so what are you going to do with it you just got to say it and then sit there with a look at your face like oh God why do I have to be involved in this news uh the shooter is a fired non-binary cook somebody say does anybody have any any evidence that the non-binary is indeed was indeed non-binary before the shooting is there any actual evidence of that because that would make it even I hate to say interesting that's that's just a horrible word prior by two years somebody says all right well we'll see we'll see uh we don't know about that um anyway so of course the Democrats are accusing Republicans of their rhetoric uh stoking this this violence now of course that that narrative will go away if it turns out that this is a leftist non-binary person as possible so we'll see where this goes but um I was wondering what exactly was it the Republicans said that would Inspire somebody to get a firearm and go and shoot a bunch of people in the LGBT community have any of you heard any Republicans suggest death to the lgbtqs or anything even close to that isn't the only thing they say um some of you stay away from our kids like have you ever seen a republican say it's all those gays like all those gays want our want to train our kids in ways we don't like I've never heard that I I don't even know I mean I don't I don't even hear anti-gay anything from conservatives and I would hear it believe me I would hear it like nobody people don't hold back when they're talking to me privately like if if you're if you're new to my live stream or if you're especially if you lean left trust me when people talk to me privately they don't hold back and when conservatives tell me I get the whole story and I just don't hear any anti-gay stuff like from anybody it just sort of doesn't exist now I'm not saying there isn't some place in the Deep South or some other places where it's really a bad problem I'm just saying it's just one report right I'm just an anecdotal reporter so I don't I don't mean to say that my experience is General but for what it's worth I have a lot of contact with the conservative community and they seem to be concerned about how things would affect their preferences but nobody gives a where you put your penis I've never heard that nobody or where you put any other part of you I guess just to make it a just to make it uh inclusive yeah Mike Pompeo who we think might be gearing up to run for president um you said this I get asked who's the most dangerous person in the world is it chairman Kim is it uh Xi Jinping he said the most dangerous person in the world is Randy Weingarten to the president of the biggest teachers union now remember this is Mike Pompeo whose entire job was to figure out who is the most dangerous person in the world and Protect America from him and he just said the most dangerous person in America is an American who is essentially destroying your children's future by doing a good job so if I could be fair it looks like Randy Weingarten does a good job for her members if they don't care about anything else but it doesn't work for the rest of us all right and uh Pompeo said who's the most likely to take this Republic down it would be the teachers unions and the filth that they're teaching our kids well you know the filth part is a subset of the larger problem I wouldn't say that's the big risk I don't think it's the filth that's going to take us down that's just a preference a big one I mean it's important but that's not I think what takes us down is just bad education system that fills people's heads with you know America hating ideas um all right so I gotta say I hear lots of critics of Mike Pompeo and I don't know exactly what he did or didn't do that you don't like but if there's a republican candidate who's going to go directly at the head of the teachers unions he just reached the top of my consideration list I gotta say he just went right to the top now not above Trump or above De.

Santis but he's in the mix now until Pompeo said this I would not have considered him as serious anything and if Mike Pompeo says I'll take out the cartels labs it's going to be tough not to support him it's going to be tough so let me warn you in advance if you have some reasons you don't want me to support Mike Pompeo for president maybe you should tell me before I get ahead of myself now everything you say about him he's a rhino he did this he did that I'm not going to care I'm a single issue voter If he if he plays me right on my single issue then you and I got to be on the other team the opposite teams that's just the way it's going to go all right now uh ideally what would happen ideally ideally he would make the other candidates more competitive so if in fact he said something aggressive about the cartels I think Trump and De.

Santis or whoever runs they're going to have to they're going to take their game up to match it don't you think whoever says the toughest thing on the Republican side that becomes a competitive Point anybody who's below that point is going to have to come up to it I think so having Mike Pompeo in the race or even just talking about being in the race so far good work good work because Mike Pompeo just made the conversation better in my opinion so forget about whether you support him or not he just made the conversation better by throwing the Randy Weingarten you know issue into the at the top of the mix so good job he's already added to the to the country I think in that one sense um I need to give you there's a confusing story in the news today so I need to give you a clarification some of you may have mixed up two stories but there's a story in the news that in Mexico speaking of Mexico a dog was spotted running through Mexico with a severed human hand in his mouth and uh so people followed it back to where it found it and found 53 bags of human remains buried in the ground so that was a dog with a severed human hand and no you I know you're saying it's old news no no no no the old news was that a dog was seen carrying a separate head because so that's the confusing part so not long ago there was uh in uh Zacatecas Mexico there was a dog carrying a severed human head which was also followed back to the mass burial where they found you know lots of dead bodies so don't confuse the story about the the Mexican dog with a severed hand that track back to a big pile of dead bodies this that's different from the story of the dog with the severed head the track back to a pile of bodies now I'm not a psychic but I'm going to make a prediction I feel within two weeks there's going to be a story about a Mexican dog with a severed foot that will wait for it wait for it lead back to a mass grave of other bodies we'll just see how I do see how I do I just feel like that's coming so nothing to worry about in Mexico there now let me ask you this do you think the average Mexican citizen would object to the American Military wiping out the cartel cartels multiple cartels do you think the average Mexican citizen would be opposed to the American Military saying look we're just going to save you you guys need some saving so we're just going to kill your bad guys for a while I feel like the citizens wouldn't be that opposed I mean there's always going to be you know screaming but I feel like I feel like you could give 60 of the citizens on board just to say well we'll wait we'll wait and see how this turns out let's not judge this too soon let's see how it turns out yeah now of course plenty of people would be you know nationalists and plenty of people would be benefiting from the cartels and so you're always going to get lots of you'll always get lots of uh you know disagreement than anything but I got a feeling a lot of the public would be okay with it I mean if you've got dogs scaring around body parts where you live you're going to be looking for an alternative all right as was noted CNN might not have tweeted this or had this news story um a year ago here's the actual headline on CNN talking about the vaccinations new boosters add limited protection against covid-19 illness did you expect CNN ever to say that the boosters don't help that much yeah yeah now can we take a moment to once again give CNN a little bit of credit right every time they do something right I feel like I should call it out and this looks like straight reporting to me that's just great reporting so good job um as far as that goes so I have a theory the Democrats vote mostly for policy and Republicans vote mostly for personality leadership I'd say now of course both sides consider all variables they both consider the leadership they both consider the policies but do you think that you could ever get a Democrat I'm sorry do you think you could get a republican candidate like let's say with just the general capabilities of Biden fetterman Adam Schiff or swalwell I mean I feel like I feel like uh I feel like Republicans say first we're going to start with are you a functioning human being you have some leadership skills and you say well Trump you know lots of leadership skills uh De.

Santis lots of leadership skills you know Abbott leadership skills and Lindsey Grant exists you know lots of exceptions lots of exceptions of course but in our current mode don't you think that the the Democrats can literally run anybody am I wrong I think the Democrats are okay with having somebody who's just like a seat filler or a proxy for the policies that they like I think as long as they get their policies they don't really care who it is and I feel like the Republicans are a little bit more maybe more tuned to strength of leadership you know maybe uh isn't there some science about that that Republicans are like strong leaders did it I think I saw that so it kind of makes sense it kind of makes sense that there's a there's no bench for the Democrats but it might not make any difference at all in fact I'm going to predict that the quality of the candidate for president probably won't be a factor at least on the Democrat side um but on the Republican side if the Republicans are not all happy with their the leadership qualities of the candidate that's the problem so I think you could get Democrats to vote for literally any individual long as a republican Democrat but I feel like I feel like Republicans are going to be a little more judgy about the the leadership capabilities of the specific person so that's you know a problem for Trump have you ever seen a time when we had fewer genuine leaders in this country is it my imagination that leadership is largely gone away right it seems like there's an enormous vacuum and I don't mean I don't just mean that Biden is weak that's part of the story but it feels like nobody's strong right because because Trump has been you know suppressed and he's off of Twitter and everything else even though musk is teasing it back with funny memes which is hilarious um but we've never had less leadership and I feel like some of that void is being filled by the internet dads you know the actual internet dad's influence so there's definitely a shift happening I think um and more to my point the two you know some of the most provocative or let's say uh what do I want to say extreme I don't know candidates on the right so think about the people who get the most criticism on the right let's say Marjorie teller green uh and bobert let's just pick two of those characters don't you notice that both of them are both strong leaders like the personality wise they're they they just like scream leadership but you might not like you know some things they do you might not like some things they said you might not like their policies but wouldn't you agree that they're both very strong charismatic leaders so you can dislike them for any number of things but you can't you can't deny that when they're on camera they they project a strength it's very Republican thing I'm not saying it's good or bad it's just an observation that could explain a few things um all right and the Republicans don't really have the Republicans are really real trouble you know right because if you say to yourself well you got Trump if people decide him you know he's been presidents that's a strong Choice and then you look at your Republican bench and you say Scott Scott that Republican bench looks pretty strong what's it going to look like after Trump is done with them it's going to look like you're going to have a trump that you know a third or more of Republicans aren't happy with and then all of the options will be destroyed so we're not going to have much left to choose from you know by the time we're done all right um did you see the spokesperson for Biden Korean John what's her name why can't I never remember her name Jean-Pierre okay whatever um but her answer about fentanyl coming across the border was that the abiding Administration has caught a record amount of Sentinel they have inter interdicted a record amount so that's pretty good right they got a they got a record amount that they captured coming across the border I'll tell you there's nothing that makes me more angry than when somebody is bullshitting you and they don't bother to make it look like maybe they're not if you if you ask what are you doing about Fentanyl and the only answer is how much they caught at the border and they don't tell you how much God through as in did more get through than ever or is all that catching at the border reduce the total amount that got through or is it possible you don't know because the only data I care about is what got through if you're telling me what didn't get through you're not talking in the same conversation oh very good I'm glad you caught it no good job go catch some more but has nothing to do with with you know understanding what the problem is if if you're if you are going to insult the public with that answer of how much you caught and completely ignore the fact that you don't know how much got through you suck like you're a shitty person and I can't respect you whatsoever because if you're gonna on me like I'm so stupid that I can't tell the difference between what got through and what got caught and I'm going to befall for this this misdirection then you think I'm a idiot right and you treat me like a idiot and it's going to come back it's going to come back yeah you know I I think the spokesperson is either a liar an or completely incompetent which is you know pick one pick one I don't care which one you pick yeah I know you want me to use the c word but I can't I can't give it away gratuitously uh by the way for the purposes of this criticism I identify as non-binary I'm just non-binary as long as I'm criticizing the spokesperson as soon as I move to the next topic right back right back to my old identity of adult black male all right um I think the biggest risk to humanity is not just the teachers unions I think it's the bad relationship advice on social media I'm not joking no joke the biggest risk to America anyway is the bad relationship advice on social media my God Is it bad my God let me let me give you just an idea of the types of bad advice we're getting number one my favorite is advice that only works if the two adults are both functional humans who who really have their together that addresses almost nobody if we were functional you know we and a couple if you were functional you probably didn't need much advice in the first place but very few how often do two functional people get together have you ever heard anybody talk about their divorce do they ever say you know I was very functional and so was my partner but you know didn't work out for some reason no they always say the other person is bad crazy or a narcissist right right the guy is always abusive narcissist and the woman's always bad crazy you know even if they're not so there's no such thing as these these two functional people getting together and working through their working through their issues with their good tools oh I think that happens for some people so if you're giving advice that could only work in the rarest of situations it doesn't help now this is analogous to my criticism of success advice do you know what kind of advice doesn't help success advice that only works for really smart people because you might not be one right so when I talk about um forming a talent stack or the systems are better than goals do you notice that that works for everybody I don't know if anybody's picked that up but that you know probably the two most important contributions I'll make to um civilization is the talent stack idea putting together talents that work well together and having a system as opposed to a goal those two things work for everybody smart people dumb people criminals non-criminals like it just it's as good a generic advice but man when I hear the advice about learn to code maybe but I'm not sure everybody can learn to code right that's not good advice so same with relationships um here's another category uh advice that made a lot of sense in the 50s I'm seeing a lot of advice that was just perfect for the 50s but the things have changed a little bit and your old traditional traditional situation it might have been better you know the traditional family it might have been better but you're not going back like sort of the horse got out of the barn there a little bit so that that advice is a little a bit of a problem how about number three I'm seeing a place for men that's so host to it in human reproduction advice for men that so about what women want and how hard it is to satisfy them and happen if you get married it's it I've seen more honest advice than I've ever seen in my life honest advice would end civilization because the only reason we do things that make civilization go forward is because we're hypnotized by civilization to think that we should do things a certain way that helps reproduction if you were just looking out for yourself probably you would make different decisions but you know we're sort of reproduction optimized so we're going to reproduce no matter what um and I would say Andrew Tate is you know on that list so they're they're The Men Who say you tell the woman exactly what you will put up with and then if she if she crosses that line there's no forgiveness you just walk away and break it off how does that advice work in the real world ah well if you're Andrew taint it probably works great for him it might it might be perfect because he's got resources and he can travel the world and he can just get rid of one girl and get another now suppose everybody took his advice and you all said you give me you give me once and I'm out of here you know I'm in charge I'm in charge that's how this is going to work as soon as you know you stop uh understanding that oh you can you're you're free go go make it somewhere else do you think that would work no it would end all reproduction the the only reason we reproduce is because men don't quite realize that the evolutionary purpose of a woman is to drain a man's resources and transfer it to children if you if you see if you see humans as a machine you know like if you're looking at an engine you say all right the carburetor does this the spark plugs do this if you just look at Humanity as a machine the purpose of women is to take resources for men and not to leave them alive or healthy nobody needs that all you need is the kids to be alive and healthy if the kids are doing good then reproduction has been satisfied and that's all Evolution cares about Evolution never said hey let's make men happy instead it went cheap instead of making men happy with I don't know how you do it but it'd be hard men have been designed by Evolution apparently to believe that tomorrow is going to be better if they just give the woman what she's asking for she won't be unhappy tomorrow because you will solve their problem and if men did not have the illusion that women have problems that can be solved and then everything's good because the problem is solved if we if we could ever get out of that illusion everything would be break but men stay with it because we're pretty sure that was just a temporary problem I'm sure that that won't happen again tomorrow and maybe it doesn't but it's a different thing so here's the most the most important thing you need to know about women they're designed to keep their man unhappy because if the man is happy he's not going to do anything for him If he if the woman projects herself as being unhappy the man will say all right all right you're ruining my whole day I'll give you that thing and then tomorrow because I solve this problem tomorrow is going to be good at least tomorrow is going to work out and then the woman realizes that this happy man isn't going to give her anything so she gets unhappy again and then the guy's all right one more day I'll just do this other thing repeat forever now if men understood this and I could even tell you and like we're so trained to not see the world that way that I can't just tell you and then you can see it um but am I wrong imagine just taking your own relationship and imagine you took uh Andrew Dane's advice and man let me ask you this married men he takes his advice if if your woman doesn't give you what you want you just walk out you say we're done we're done how would that work in your life it wouldn't work at all it wouldn't work at all because you're not Andrew teen and you can't get on your private jet and go to another country and and Will some Romanian girl that doesn't know you right now I'm not saying he hasn't worked worked on a good system for himself and I compliment him for that and Andrew Tate is doing a great career Financial you know energy monster kind of job for himself for himself but I don't think his advice is going to work for all of you necessarily oh here's another category uh advice for women about what men want as if giving men what they want would make a woman happy I keep hearing you know women you have to know that you know men need you know some quiet time and you know they they need to be appreciated and the advice sounds really good sounds really good like wow seems like that those are all the things the man would want do you know what's wrong with that advice you're giving advice to somebody who doesn't want that advice they know how to make the man happy they keep him unhappy intentionally because making him happy would be terrible for them they wouldn't get what they wanted like I just said right they have to keep him slightly unhappy all the time that's how this entire operating system there's no second way to do it all right unless you know if there's some rare very functional people and uh here's here's one this is just me being an so I'll say it first so you don't have to so the fifth one on my list is just me being a little bit of an and the fifth one is advice from relationship experts who spend most of their time on the road uh I'm just gonna let that sit there yeah I don't want to hear I do not want to hear relationship advice from somebody who doesn't have to be home very much you know what I mean I feel like we'd all do a little bit better if we were home and that that's especially what I feel when I hear um and uh and to be honest if you haven't picked it up a lot of this is uh indirect criticism of Jordan Peterson's relationship advice now Jordan Peterson is genuinely a super smart guy and when he says things they always make sense right and you know if people could do the things that he's he's recommending they'd probably be great but I think he does he I think he does advice for functional people who largely don't exist and he models being away from home a lot because it seems like he gets around I know I feel like that's got to be part of it and and he said something that I saw yesterday I don't know when he said it but I saw a clip of Jordan Peterson saying that you know being a being a High character man and and building a you know functional relationship and especially a family is really the only thing that's going to make you happy when you reach the age of 60.

have you ever heard him say that like when you reach a certain age you know all of your cheap joy and cheap sex and all that it's not gonna that's not gonna feed you once you're 60 what are you going to do still be a playboy at 60.

now interestingly he just turned 60.

so that's his age and I was sitting there before before I heard that at age 65.

I was sitting there thinking damn I just have good days lately like like ever since I you know I got off that pharmaceutical nightmare a few several weeks ago but I've had nothing but good days like I wake up and I go oh man I'm gonna like have a nice walk in the sun I'm I gotta get a massage later like I'll just do one good thing after another I'll go play with my dog even the work I do is work I don't mind doing I miss arguably this is work but barely and I was thinking to myself I was perfectly happy and then I listened to Jordan Peterson told me that I was you know empty and had no no no chance of happiness because I'm not in the family and I thought Maybe we'll see he could be right about that all right um did you hear CNN playing uh cell phone cell phone conversation of a Russian soldier in Ukraine calling his girlfriend and complaining about the Russian leadership now that the um I guess the uh the summary of that is that the the soldiers that the Russian soldiers said that the leadership got um let's say shelled and they packed up and they moved further away from the front line but they didn't move their troops further from the front line they didn't move the troops further and the soldiers like what the hell like we're just getting apparently half of them had been wiped out so they and and the soldier was talking about killing murdering their own Commanders now I don't know if it's just one guy spouting off to his girlfriend but he actually said it you know there that they were getting ready to go just kill their own Commander and and I you know who knows how representative it is but one of the things that the soldier said is that if it wasn't for this you know ragtagged bunch of people who were half of them have been killed and they don't want to be there that that's the only thing keeping Ukraine from marching to Moscow and I thought to myself have the Russian soldiers Been Told that they're protecting Moscow do you think that they believe maybe they've been propagandized the Ukraine is the aggressor do they believe that a Ukrainian aggressor because maybe I mean uh you are ignorant concerning Jordan Peterson igles says aren't we all how could I not be ignorant about Jordan Peterson would I not need to read his mind to have a complete picture I I suppose you've done that have you have you done the work you did some research dug a little deeper developed a machine that could read his mind complete all the picture fill in all the black the dots all right well I just want to mock you a little bit for that all right um student loans so and let me let me summarize everything that you hear out of Ukraine is propaganda you know I just have to remind you because every once in a while people say how did Scott you know believe that propaganda I don't believe it I'm just saying it exists you shouldn't believe anything out of Ukraine it is entirely possible that the Russian troops are right at the point of total collapse but I wouldn't bet on it right it's possible um so the White House found a new way to screw the country by extending the student loan repayment until uh June 2023.

and that's an interesting time because doesn't that mean that it would expire it would expire before the election is that when they wanted to expire because then it looks like the Democrats picked something that would expire I think they want to make it look like it's a Republican's fault I suppose I could spin it that way but anyway it's a as weasel plans go it's a pretty Weasley plant the the fact that they're selling to their idiot uh their idiot base that they're actually going to be able to get away with this loan repayment stuff it's just amazing to me all right I want to I want to give you my favorite story of the day you know as you know I have a mascot does everybody know who my mascot is I want to make sure that I've got the word around you is Keith olberman now the way this works is that a mascot is somebody who starts as just a Critic but if they're really really good at it or really energetic and really entertaining then they rise to the level of mascot so in my life Keith olberman has been criticizing me for 20 years and it's all crazy and funny so like once I realized he was my mascot then I look forward to every time I hear from him so it just sort of turns it into a positive but uh Tim Poole got himself a mascot so and and maybe a better one than mine I mean I thought olberman would be hard to top but Tim Poole he got himself a good mascot I'm going to play it for you some little kids like that go get them boys guys go get them please please vote for our molesters and our pedophiles Republicans say Republicans you're guilty okay and I'll tell you right now the number one reason they constantly talk about pedophilia is because it's going through their heads non-stop they're thinking about kids I guarantee it the reason Temple wears a beanie is because he's trying to contain the pedophilia that's in his head that's what he's always talking about it he's seeing it everywhere why because he's projecting and the right way he's like yes I love how they molest the little kids like that go get them boys guys go get em please please foreign Republicans say Republicans you're guilty okay and I'll tell you right now the number one reason they constantly talk about pedophilia is because it's going through their heads non-stop they're thinking about kids I guarantee it the reasons um so uh Temple retwees it you know you've done a bad job as a Critic when the target of your criticism retweets it and the first part of the retweet is LOL I said Tim Poole says LOL OMG this is amazing it's weird because I'm not a not Catholic conservative or republican like they can't understand that Independents oppose them too uh anyone who isn't in the cult is Republican and he says uh Jack I love you buddy which is perfect so if you want a lesson uh how to handle uh your your craziest people read with them and just give them an LOL retweet and let people decide for themselves so that that was about as perfect as it could be and uh my other favorite story Elon Musk finds a closet full of uh stay woke shirts at Twitter is the entire entire closet full of secret closet of hashtag work that's for sure here we are at the most thing that Elizabeth so so everything that you imagined about Twitter is apparently true like every every like everything you imagined that could be maybe you know not quite ideal it was all true now may I add my own suggestions I think Elon Musk should take all these shirts and give them to the homeless not only that but I think I think that Republicans should make lots more shirts that also have Democrat slogans on them and also give them to the homeless in fact I would give the homeless free close forever as long as that this is the free clothing had a had a pro-democrat statement on it and by the way I wouldn't have anything anti-democrat it would be their own it'd be like vote for Hillary you know Joe Biden is my president you know that sort of thing and just make it free but you know good enough quality and you know clean and maybe even do a laundry service now imagine offering laundry service for the homeless like actually literally wash their clothes but also part of that provide them new fresher clothes that have Democrat slogans on come on that's you love that idea it's yes democrats for Fentanyl ah that would be funny all right um and I saw a parody on Twitter that I honestly couldn't tell I had to tweet to ask if it was parody Or real good I didn't care so it was somebody saying that they were a fired uh fact Checker at Twitter and it was so spot on of what looks like it could have been an actual fired fact Checker at Twitter that I couldn't tell it was hilarious but I didn't know if it was hilarious because it was parody Or it was hilarious because it was real I actually couldn't tell like legitimately legitimately I didn't even have the best guess now it turns out it was parody and it was it was labeled parody in the profile but I didn't want to check like obviously I could have checked in a second right but I didn't want to look because I didn't want to know if it if it was parody I didn't want to know I want to I just wanted to enjoy it for his beauty without knowing for a while um here's another in the category of things you suspected that turns out are totally true I saw Dinesh D'Souza a tweet where he was talking about uh Twitter and said that um that the censorship was deployed as a one-way operation against conservatives all right so that's a that's a big statement right this is sort of conspiracy theory statement you would have heard you know a year and a half ago and you would have said well that just sounds like you know Dinesh is making just a purely political statement right so censorship has been deployed as a one-way operation against conservatives and then Elon Musk replies in the comments with one word correct correct now do you think that Elon Musk now knows exactly uh how things were being being censored and why probably probably musk knows exactly who got censored and why and as someone else pointed out maybe it was Dinesh pointed out I think Dinesh pointed out that you're not seeing a bunch of band leftists coming back on the platform do you know why because there weren't any and there weren't any it was exactly what you thought it was it was just a way to suppress conservatives apparently all right um so ladies and gentlemen I feel like there was a few funny stories that I missed uh oh the krasenstein brothers yeah you know Kathy Griffin well Kathy Griffin was sort of a special case wasn't she and you know I thought it was uh funny and smart the musk brought Kathy Griffin back in the first wave of people brought back because that showed he was at least considering you know both sides of the aisle for for comebacks and I thought that was just a smart way to play it uh do I have a my pillow promo code I don't I do need some new pillows though I should get some um now how many of you are noticing a an improvement in the troll criticism activity on Twitter I would say that my my troll troll traffic is down at least 80 percent in fact I'll even go further the people who criticize me now might actually be real people they might actually just be people who disagree with me it feels very different yeah I I can feel my metabolism doesn't do the same thing it did even a year ago on Twitter a year ago on Twitter I could feel my body catch on fire after a few tweets but that doesn't happen now I when I checked Twitter now it feels like a pleasant informational humorous kind of experience doesn't it feels very different now but here's my question a hundred percent of my tweets still instantly get a uh a spam I think you've all seen it it pretends to be Elon Musk giving away something right but it's all fake but it's instant and it's as soon as I tweet how in the world can Twitter not stop that because the content of the Tweet is always the same they don't have any way to instantly look for you know Elon Musk is not giving away any Bitcoins or whatever the hell this is you've never seen it are you serious it's in every one of my tweets including today it happens instantly let me let me let me do a test let me do a test I'm going to do a non like just a nothing tweet uh testing how long before the spam hits my comments because I do wonder if anybody's watching to see if the content of my tweet is one that they want to connect to so I don't know if it's content related so I'm going to Tweet this and if it's automatic the the spam will be there like usually it's the first first comment so let's just test it Let's test that tweet if any of you are watching it at the same time all right um the first two comments are not spam so it's possible that there are humans deciding which ones to attach the spam to do you think that's how it works do you think a human is doing it because it happened so quickly it looks like it's automated if it doesn't if it doesn't pop up in like a minute then I won't believe it's automated and let's see show more replies of course more replies on this one than normal of course all right well I don't see it so I just I guess I don't know if it's automatic Erica the excellent has already weighed in on this tweet and you're right you're correct Erica all right um is there any stories I missed that don't involve Mass tragedies affected what about Kanye's tweet about asking Trump to be his running mate oh did he do that well oh Alex Berenson and Tom Elliott are in a Twitter argument on weed so Berenson was sort of anti-weed right so there's one um statistic that I follow for weed is life expectancy the the only study I've seen comparing uh you know frequent weed users with the rest of the public showed that their life expectancy was greater than the regular public now I don't trust studies so I'd have to see more but what I don't trust is the ones that say uh this looks like wheat is even worse for your lungs than whatever because it feels like all those things are suggestive of a problem that doesn't show up in total mortality and Attila shows up in total mortality have you ever heard of anybody dying of a weed related problem have you ever heard you didn't smoke cigarettes but he died of lung cancer I've never heard of it I mean maybe it happens uh Ali is still suspended Ali Alexander is still expended somebody says yeah he's going to be he's going to be an edge case too oh I forgot my best joke can you mentally go back with me in time I've got to rewind all right this will be worth it watch this it'll be just like this it hadn't already happened and you hadn't already watched it so Tim Poole has a new uh mascot uh Chang uh oyer or uyghur I don't know how to pronounce his last name um and you may know Jenkins the poor man's Alex Jones okay that's all I wanted to do now now back back where we were he's the poor man's Alex Jones come on that's pretty good um by the way this is one of my favorite jokes or a joke is structures I love the joke structure when you say somebody is the poor man's somebody else because you can do it for almost anybody you'd find somebody who just swear reminds you of them and is you know worse or better in some way and then you say they're the poor man it's always funny um somebody says I'm the poor man's Jordan Peterson see that's perfect that and that works yeah calling me the poor man's Jordan Peterson is perfect yeah that is the exact that that's how you do that well executed well executed now I try to be consistent on the following point if somebody criticizes me or insults me in a way that's legitimately funny I'm just going to go with the joke I'll just ignore the criticism yeah because usually it's about the joke not the criticism and I'll just appreciate it I appreciate a good joke at my expense if it's well well-formed and you know you're going for the laugh that's fine um yay tweeted to use that bar Lago yeah do you think that uh do you think that anything can redeem Kanye when he does the you know I'm Jewish stuff um here's how he could redeem himself Kanye could just deny and say you know all that uh I'm more Jewish than the Jewish people you know I did some more research and I found out that uh you know that wasn't all it was cracked up to be you know that the research didn't pan out and then just say I did more work and now I changed my mind could he do that if you saw Kanye say you know everybody criticized me I looked into it and I gotta say that was just a mistake I believe he could pull that off he could pull though because you know what you know what America really forgives well what is it that America is really forgiving for we we forgive honest mistakes when somebody owns it right if you own your mistake people are way okay with you right and I always thought that was part of Trump's magic if Trump had said um elect to be president yea is the poor man's Kanye that's pretty good uh part of Trump's Magic is that he never told he he was a High character person and so when things you know the accusations came out that would go to his character you would say ah oh yeah you did tell us that I guess that was pretty transparent he actually said running for president I'm No Angel I'm No Angel that is the clear statement you could ever get that if you dig around you're going to find some stuff you don't like but that's not what I'm proposing as president as president I'm proposing to do these things for you I'm not proposing to date you right I'm not I'm not proposing to sexually harass you so you could care about it but that's not my proposition so I'll give you that that's you got some things in my closet there you're not gonna like yeah um so I think that yay is a a sympathetic character meaning that people are primed to want to like it would you agree I think people are primed to want to like him so all you have to do is just give us a path but he made it impossible because what am I going to say oh I agree with the guy saying anti-semitic things like it just cuts me off like I'm not going to go there so he has to fix that but I want him to I would like him to fix it like us all to learn something from it yay literally and then move on I'd be fine with that you know I don't think yay has ever told told us he's complete has he has yeah ever said you know I've got my completely together you know why don't you be more like me quite the opposite quite the opposite he is all he has always told you he's a that he's basically a mess who happens to be an artistic genius both true he's an artistic genius maybe a business genius until recently and and he's also a mess but he's transparent about it you know mental problems and all um Ice Cube passed up 9 million because of the jab and so he lost some work because is that what you're saying yeah he he's still interesting though all right um anybody watching the World Cup I guess Lionel Messi his team lost to Saudi Arabia wow that was a shocker if you don't follow soccer you don't realize what a you know World bending shocker that was now here's a little tip for you if you don't like watching soccer and that would be common of a number of Americans spend five minutes looking for highlight reels of Lionel Messi scoring goals and it's not like watching soccer right soccer is a lot of people trying stuff that doesn't work oh I tried that pass but somebody got it oh I tried to get past that guy but he stopped me it's like a whole bunch of people who aren't quite good enough to play soccer playing soccer it looks like and then Lionel Messi we'll just dribble through like 13 of them in a row and then score this ridiculous goal into the corner and you watch that and you say I don't know what I even saw like I don't even know how any that's possible and you also have to remember that Messi was told he was too small to play professional soccer because he's small and he's the best player in the world so you know I guess maybe I root for him for you know overcoming that obstacle as well but when you watch Lionel Messi it's not like watching soccer you're watching it almost looks like it's not possible it looks like magic or something so do yourself a favor five minutes of Lionel Messi You.

Tube highlight reel it'll just blow your mind you you won't believe people can do what he does he was put on ghg during puberty we'll see how tall is he Alexa how tall is Lionel Messi he's five seven all right ladies and gentlemen I believe that's just about all I have for today um this might be the best live stream you've ever seen Tom Brady is the poor man's Lionel Messi okay maybe there is a limit to that there might be a limit to how well that joke works huh um did exception to the rule all right um yeah the news was interesting but there wasn't much of it today so I'm gonna go do some other stuff and all of you have a great day on You.

Tube I'll talk to the locals people in a minute

good morning everybody and welcome to

another highlight of civilization coffee

with Scott Adams the finest experience

of your life

so far

tomorrow's looking good too now if you'd

like to take it up to levels of

happiness that we didn't even know were

possible until recently all you need is

a cup of mug or a glass attacker jealous

this time a canteen drug or flask of a

vessel of any kind and fill it with your

favorite liquid I like coffee

and join me now for the unparalleled

pleasure that don't be anything means

everything better it's called the

simultaneous Sip and it happens all over

the world now go

very good very good yeah

that's some good stuff

well the good news is the Dilbert

website is restored

so from Friday through Tuesday

it was pretty well hosed I I don't have

any updates myself

so I don't know what the problem was or

why it took so long

but my initial initial belief was it was

probably a bad hack

I don't know

but it's back up and is working and

that's all good

did you know that Intel

the company the company Intel has

developed a deep fake detector

apparently you can look at a deep fake

you know a digital image of a person

and they can even pick up like

apparently changes in blood flow

I I don't know how it picks that up but

it thinks it can

and so that would be awesome 96 is

pretty good I would think that the ones

that we cared about would be the ones we

can't detect but

um and then I wondered

I wonder if you could build a detector

to detect NPCs

and do you remember the Battle Star

Galactica

where part of the technology was they

could detect the uh

this Androids I guess so they could

detect the people who looked exactly

like people the the cylons yeah they

look exactly like people but they were

really young mechanical

uh

here's how I think you could build an

NPC detector

it goes like this

you just go up to somebody you want to

check

and then you say hey I heard about a

really good form of exercise

the experts are saying it's an excellent

form of exercise and it's kind of new

and uh you know it seems to hit all the

notes and all the experts say it's a

really good form of exercise

now what you do is then you wait that's

that that primes the detector what

you're waiting for

is for somebody to say

swimming is the best form of exercise

and then you got them

that's an NPC

because the NPCs will only say the most

obvious thing you could say in that

situation

right so just ask that just say oh this

is new form of exercise and just wait

swimming is the best form of exercise

gotcha I gotcha

so you try that

try that on your so-called relatives

over the holidays

find out how many your so-called

relatives if you know what I mean

are real

all right um

San Francisco is going full racist

um the city of San Francisco fired

a person who is in charge of its

elections the the elections Department

chief

whose performance was good there was no

problem whatsoever and the people who

fired him says no there's no problem

with his performance

he had one problem that they couldn't

overlook

white and male

and they said how in the world are we

ever going to have diversity at the

senior levels of responsibility if these

white people are clogging up the

progress they're keeping these jobs so

there was a white guy who was like

ruining everything by simply having a

job and doing it well according to

everybody and because he had a job and

he did it well he was

obviously sort of a racist because he

was blocking out any chance of diversity

because there were only so many jobs

so he got fired

um I would love to be the lawyer who

handles that lawsuit

because if that's not a slam dunk

I don't know anything

if you can't win that lawsuit

I I don't know anything

about anything

am I wrong

don't you just have to show up to win

that one

so why was why was he fired well he was

fired because he's a white male

and that's the end of the case isn't it

or could you get a jury in San Francisco

who said I'd like to hear more

I'd like to hear the other side of this

only in San Francisco

could the actual employer say well we do

stipulate we do admit

performance was great he was only fired

because of his uh he was a white male

and and then only in San Francisco would

somebody say I'll need to hear more

I'd like to hear you know because

probably you know there's an argument on

the other side

um

I'm not so sure no standing

all right

here is the most horrifying

humorous

story of the day

can we agree there's nothing funny about

people dying

because we're all good people right

it is not my fault

that there's a story in which this is

just horrendous like a a human tragedy

of the of the highest level

and still something came out of it that

I can't ignore

all right I didn't want to talk about

you know mass shootings but you all know

there was a lgbtq nightclub that got

shot up

I don't want to talk about those details

although except there was a I think an

army veteran who took him out took him

down so

so thank you for your service twice

there's somebody you can thank for his

service twice once for I think three

tours in Iraq and once we're taking down

the shooter and the lgbtq club

interestingly he was neither he was not

lgbtq he was just a fan

he just liked the environment he was

having a great time with his family and

you know they have some connection to

the community I guess so he's a big fan

of the LGBT community but I bet they're

pretty happy he was there because uh if

you listen to his description

I'll tell you this is the best argument

for diversity

you'll ever get

now when I say diversity I mean all the

ways people think differently act

differently have different experiences

different life truths you know like all

the whole realm of diversity do you know

why

because this military guy in that club

as he described it when the shooting

started he ran toward it

you ran toward it

how much training do you have to have to

run toward gunfire

well I don't have that

although I can't guarantee I wouldn't

run toward it because I do like danger

more than I should

um

that's amazing isn't it it's amazing so

if you didn't have one person with that

kind of let's call it diverse the person

with diverse experience and diverse

I don't know maybe even philosophy about

what to do in that situation if you

didn't have that guy there would have

been a lot more people dead

right

so there's a there's a case where

diversity of one type really made a

difference

um but here's the story which I hate to

be amused by this because you know the

larger story is a tragedy of course but

apparently the accused shooter

um is identifying as non-binary

which we cynical people suspect

may not be entirely on the up and up

because part of the uh part of the

charges would be hate crime related

because of where it was

but he the the uh they apparently we do

not speak of the alleged shooter as he

anymore that's the old way we now refer

to the shooter as they

so they

has established a non-binary identity

and I don't know what is funnier

the fact that it might work

my work

you know

and maybe he is

can we rule out the possibility that the

shooter actually does

identify as non-binary

I think that's entirely possible I don't

know that's why it might work and but

the funny part is

that the the left

has a very strong rule that you get to

identify yourself it's not for other

people to tell you what you are

so I believe he's embracing and

amplifying

if you know what I mean

he may be taking the left's own

philosophy and just saying all right if

those are my rules I'll play by your

rules how do you like it

or his lawyer is Right some combination

of him plus his lawyer so uh watching

CNN's Ellison camarado deal with this

news and not know what to say about it

because she can't be

anti-identify whatever you want

that's not going to really work with the

CNN brand even the revising in brand

uh and she can't say it's not true

because they don't have they don't have

that reporting there's nobody to say

it's not true so what are you going to

do with it you just got to say it and

then sit there with a look at your face

like oh God why do I have to be involved

in this news

uh

the shooter is a fired non-binary cook

somebody say does anybody have any any

evidence that the non-binary is indeed

was indeed non-binary before the

shooting

is there any actual evidence of that

because that would make it even

I hate to say interesting that's that's

just a horrible word

prior by two years somebody says all

right well we'll see

we'll see

uh we don't know about that

um

anyway

so of course the Democrats are accusing

Republicans of their rhetoric uh stoking

this this violence now of course

that that narrative will go away if it

turns out that this is a leftist

non-binary person

as possible

so we'll see where this goes but

um I was wondering what exactly was it

the Republicans said that would Inspire

somebody to get a firearm and go and

shoot a bunch of people

in the LGBT community

have any of you heard any Republicans

suggest

death to the lgbtqs

or anything even close to that

isn't the only thing they say

um some of you stay away from our kids

like have you ever seen a republican say

it's all those gays like all those gays

want our want to train our kids in ways

we don't like I've never heard that

I

I don't even know

I mean I don't I don't even hear

anti-gay anything from conservatives and

I would hear it believe me I would hear

it like nobody people don't hold back

when they're talking to me privately

like if if you're if you're new to my

live stream or if you're especially if

you lean left trust me when people talk

to me privately they don't hold back and

when conservatives tell me I get the

whole story and I just don't hear any

anti-gay stuff

like from anybody it just sort of

doesn't exist now I'm not saying there

isn't some place in the Deep South or

some other places where it's really a

bad problem I'm just saying it's just

one report right I'm just an anecdotal

reporter so I don't I don't mean to say

that my experience is General

but for what it's worth

I have a lot of contact with the

conservative community and they seem to

be concerned about how things would

affect their preferences

but nobody gives a where you put

your penis I've never heard that nobody

or where you put any other part of you I

guess just to make it a just to make it

uh inclusive yeah

Mike Pompeo who we think might be

gearing up to run for

president

um you said this I get asked who's the

most dangerous person in the world is it

chairman Kim is it uh Xi Jinping

he said the most dangerous person in the

world is Randy Weingarten

to the president of the biggest

teachers union

now remember this is Mike Pompeo

whose entire job was to figure out who

is the most dangerous person in the

world and Protect America from him

and he just said the most dangerous

person in America is an American who is

essentially destroying your children's

future

by doing a good job

so if I could be fair

it looks like Randy Weingarten does a

good job for her members if they don't

care about anything else

but

it doesn't work for the rest of us

all right and uh Pompeo said who's the

most likely to take this Republic down

it would be the teachers unions and the

filth that they're teaching our kids

well you know the filth part is a subset

of the larger problem I wouldn't say

that's the big risk I don't think it's

the filth that's going to take us down

that's just a preference a big one I

mean it's important but

that's not I think what takes us down is

just bad education system that fills

people's heads with you know America

hating ideas

um

all right so

I gotta say

I hear lots of critics of Mike Pompeo

and I don't know exactly what he did or

didn't do that you don't like but

if there's a republican candidate who's

going to go directly at the head of the

teachers unions

he just reached the top of my

consideration list

I gotta say

he just went right to the top now not

above Trump or above DeSantis but he's

in the mix now

until Pompeo said this I would not have

considered him

as serious anything

and if Mike Pompeo says I'll take out

the cartels labs

it's going to be tough not to support

him

it's going to be tough

so let me warn you in advance if you

have some reasons you don't want me to

support Mike Pompeo for president

maybe you should tell me before I get

ahead of myself now everything you say

about him he's a rhino he did this he

did that I'm not going to care

I'm a single issue voter If he if he

plays me right on my single issue

then you and I got to be on the other

team the opposite teams that's just the

way it's going to go

all right now uh ideally what would

happen ideally

ideally

he would make the other candidates more

competitive

so if in fact he said something

aggressive about the cartels I think

Trump and DeSantis or whoever runs

they're going to have to they're going

to take their game up to match it don't

you think

whoever says the toughest thing on the

Republican side

that becomes a competitive Point

anybody who's below that point is going

to have to come up to it I think

so having Mike Pompeo in the race or

even just talking about being in the

race so far

good work

good work

because Mike Pompeo just made the

conversation better

in my opinion so forget about whether

you support him or not he just made the

conversation better by throwing the

Randy Weingarten you know issue into the

at the top of the mix so good job he's

already added to the to the country I

think in that one sense

um I need to give you there's a

confusing story in the news today so I

need to give you a clarification some of

you may have mixed up two stories

but there's a story in the news that in

Mexico speaking of Mexico a dog was

spotted running through Mexico with a

severed human hand

in his mouth and uh so people followed

it back to where it found it and found

53 bags of human remains buried in the

ground

so that was a dog with a severed human

hand and

no you I know you're saying it's old

news no no no no the old news was that a

dog was seen carrying a separate head

because so that's the confusing part so

not long ago there was uh in uh

Zacatecas Mexico there was a dog

carrying a severed human head which was

also followed back to the mass burial

where they found you know lots of dead

bodies so don't confuse the story about

the the Mexican dog with a severed hand

that track back to a big pile of dead

bodies this that's different from the

story of the dog with the severed head

the track back to a pile of bodies now

I'm not a psychic but I'm going to make

a prediction

I feel within two weeks there's going to

be a story about a Mexican dog with a

severed foot

that will wait for it wait for it lead

back

to a mass grave of other bodies

we'll just see how I do

see how I do I just feel like that's

coming

so nothing to worry about in Mexico

there

now let me ask you this

do you think the average Mexican citizen

would object to the American Military

wiping out the cartel

cartels multiple cartels do you think

the average Mexican citizen would be

opposed to the American Military saying

look we're just going to save you

you guys need some saving so we're just

going to kill your bad guys for a while

I feel like the citizens wouldn't be

that opposed I mean there's always going

to be you know screaming

but I feel like I feel like you could

give 60 of the citizens on board just to

say well we'll wait we'll wait and see

how this turns out

let's not judge this too soon

let's see how it turns out

yeah now of course plenty of people

would be you know nationalists and

plenty of people would be benefiting

from the cartels and so you're always

going to get lots of you'll always get

lots of uh you know disagreement than

anything but I got a feeling a lot of

the public would be okay with it I mean

if you've got dogs scaring around body

parts

where you live you're going to be

looking for an alternative

all right as was noted CNN might not

have tweeted this or had this news story

um a year ago here's the actual headline

on CNN

talking about the vaccinations new

boosters add limited protection against

covid-19 illness

did you expect CNN ever to say that the

boosters don't help that much

yeah yeah now can we take a moment

to once again

give CNN a little bit of credit

right every time they do something right

I feel like I should call it out

and this looks like straight reporting

to me that's just great reporting so

good job

um

as far as that goes

so I have a theory

the Democrats vote mostly for policy and

Republicans vote mostly for personality

leadership I'd say now of course both

sides

consider all variables they both

consider the leadership they both

consider the policies but do you think

that you could ever get a Democrat I'm

sorry do you think you could get a

republican candidate

like let's say with just the general

capabilities of

Biden fetterman Adam Schiff or swalwell

I mean I feel like I feel like uh

I feel like Republicans say first we're

going to start with

are you a functioning human being you

have some leadership skills

and you say well Trump

you know lots of leadership skills uh

DeSantis lots of leadership skills you

know Abbott leadership skills and

Lindsey Grant exists

you know lots of exceptions lots of

exceptions of course but in our current

mode

don't you think that the the Democrats

can literally run anybody

am I wrong

I think the Democrats are okay

with having somebody who's just like a

seat filler or a proxy for the policies

that they like I think as long as they

get their policies

they don't really care who it is

and I feel like the Republicans are a

little bit more

maybe more tuned to strength of

leadership

you know maybe uh isn't there some

science about that that Republicans are

like strong leaders

did it I think I saw that

so it kind of makes sense it kind of

makes sense that there's a

there's no bench for the Democrats but

it might not make any difference at all

in fact I'm going to predict that the

quality of the candidate for president

probably won't be a factor

at least on the Democrat side

um

but on the Republican side if the

Republicans are not all happy with their

the leadership qualities of the

candidate that's the problem so I think

you could get Democrats to vote for

literally any individual

long as a republican Democrat but I feel

like I feel like Republicans are going

to be a little more judgy about the the

leadership capabilities of the specific

person

so that's you know a problem for Trump

have you ever seen a time when we had

fewer genuine leaders in this country

is it my imagination that leadership is

largely gone away

right

it seems like there's an enormous vacuum

and I don't mean I don't just mean that

Biden is weak that's part of the story

but it feels like nobody's strong

right because because Trump has been you

know suppressed and he's off of Twitter

and everything else even though musk is

teasing it back with funny memes which

is hilarious

um but we've never had less leadership

and I feel like some of that void is

being filled by the internet dads

you know the actual internet dad's

influence so there's definitely a shift

happening I think

um

and more to my point the two you know

some of the most provocative or

let's say uh what do I want to say

extreme I don't know candidates on the

right

so think about the people who get the

most criticism on the right

let's say Marjorie teller green

uh and bobert let's just pick two of

those characters

don't you notice that both of them are

both strong leaders

like the personality wise they're they

they just like scream leadership but you

might not like you know some things they

do you might not like some things they

said you might not like their policies

but wouldn't you agree that they're both

very strong

charismatic leaders so you can dislike

them for any number of things but you

can't you can't deny

that when they're on camera

they they project a strength

it's very Republican thing I'm not

saying it's good or bad it's just an

observation that could explain a few

things

um

all right

and the Republicans don't really have

the Republicans are really real trouble

you know right

because if you say to yourself well you

got Trump if people decide him you know

he's been presidents that's a strong

Choice and then you look at your

Republican bench and you say

Scott Scott that Republican bench looks

pretty strong

what's it going to look like after Trump

is done with them

it's going to look like you're going to

have a trump that you know a third or

more of Republicans aren't happy with

and then all of the options will be

destroyed

so we're not going to have much left to

choose from you know by the time we're

done

all right

um did you see the spokesperson for

Biden

Korean

John what's her name why can't I never

remember her name

Jean-Pierre

okay whatever

um but her answer about fentanyl coming

across the border was that the abiding

Administration has caught a record

amount of Sentinel they have inter

interdicted a record amount so that's

pretty good right they got a they got a

record amount that they captured coming

across the border

I'll tell you there's nothing that makes

me more angry

than when somebody is bullshitting you

and they don't bother to

make it look like maybe they're not

if you if you ask what are you doing

about Fentanyl and the only answer is

how much they caught at the border

and they don't tell you how much God

through

as in did more get through than ever

or is all that catching at the border

reduce the total amount that got through

or is it possible you don't know

because the only data I care about is

what got through

if you're telling me what didn't get

through you're not talking in the same

conversation oh very good I'm glad you

caught it no good job go catch some more

but has nothing to do with with you know

understanding what the problem is if if

you're if you are going to insult the

public

with that answer of how much you caught

and completely ignore

the fact that you don't know how much

got through

you suck

like you're a shitty person

and I can't respect you whatsoever

because if you're gonna on me like

I'm so stupid that I can't tell

the difference between what got through

and what got caught and I'm going to

befall for this this misdirection then

you think I'm a idiot right and

you treat me like a idiot

and it's going to come back

it's going to come back yeah you know I

I think the spokesperson is either a

liar

an or completely incompetent

which is you know pick one

pick one I don't care which one you pick

yeah I know you want me to use the c

word but

I can't I can't give it away

gratuitously

uh by the way for the purposes of this

criticism I identify as non-binary

I'm just non-binary as long as I'm

criticizing the spokesperson

as soon as I move to the next topic

right back right back to my old identity

of adult black male all right

um

I think the biggest risk to humanity is

not just the teachers unions

I think it's the bad relationship advice

on social media

I'm not joking

no joke

the biggest risk to America anyway

is the bad relationship advice

on social media

my God Is it bad

my God let me let me give you just an

idea

of the types of bad advice we're getting

number one my favorite is advice that

only works if the two adults are both

functional humans who

who really have their together

that addresses almost nobody

if we were functional you know we and a

couple if you were functional you

probably didn't need much advice in the

first place

but very few how often do two functional

people get together

have you ever heard anybody talk about

their divorce

do they ever say you know

I was very functional and so was my

partner but you know didn't work out for

some reason

no they always say the other person is

bad crazy

or a narcissist right

right the guy is always abusive

narcissist

and the woman's always bad crazy

you know even if they're not

so there's no such thing as these these

two functional people getting together

and working through their working

through their issues with their good

tools

oh

I think that happens for some people

so if you're giving advice that could

only work in the rarest of situations

it doesn't help now this is analogous to

my criticism of success advice

do you know what kind of advice doesn't

help

success advice that only works for

really smart people

because you might not be one

right

so when I talk about

um

forming a talent stack or the systems

are better than goals do you notice that

that works for everybody

I don't know if anybody's picked that up

but that you know probably the two most

important contributions I'll make to

um civilization is

the talent stack idea putting together

talents that work well together

and having a system as opposed to a goal

those two things work for everybody

smart people dumb people criminals

non-criminals like it just it's as good

a generic advice but man when I hear the

advice about

learn to code

maybe but I'm not sure everybody can

learn to code right that's not good

advice

so same with relationships

um here's another category

uh advice that made a lot of sense in

the 50s

I'm seeing a lot of advice

that was just perfect for the 50s

but the things have changed a little bit

and your old traditional

traditional situation it might have been

better you know the traditional family

it might have been better but you're not

going back like sort of the horse got

out of the barn there a little bit so

that that advice is a little a bit of a

problem

how about number three

I'm seeing a place for men that's so

host to it in human reproduction

advice for men

that so about what women want and how

hard it is to satisfy them and happen if

you get married

it's it I've seen more honest advice

than I've ever seen in my life honest

advice would end civilization

because the only reason we do things

that make civilization go forward is

because we're hypnotized by civilization

to think that we should do things a

certain way that

helps reproduction

if you were just looking out for

yourself probably you would make

different decisions

but you know we're sort of reproduction

optimized

so we're going to reproduce no matter

what

um and I would say Andrew

Tate is you know on that list

so they're they're The Men Who say

you tell the woman exactly what you will

put up with

and then if she if she crosses that line

there's no forgiveness you just walk

away and break it off

how does that advice work in the real

world

ah

well if you're Andrew taint it probably

works great for him

it might it might be perfect because

he's got resources and he can travel the

world and he can just get rid of one

girl and get another

now suppose everybody took his advice

and you all said you give me you give me

once and I'm out of here

you know I'm in charge

I'm in charge that's how this is going

to work as soon as you know you stop uh

understanding that oh you can you're

you're free

go go make it somewhere else do you

think that would work

no it would end all reproduction

the the only reason we reproduce is

because men don't quite realize that the

evolutionary purpose of a woman is to

drain a man's resources and transfer it

to children

if you if you see if you see humans as a

machine

you know like if you're looking at an

engine you say all right the carburetor

does this the spark plugs do this if you

just look at Humanity as a machine the

purpose of women is to take resources

for men

and not to leave them alive or healthy

nobody needs that

all you need is the kids to be alive and

healthy if the kids are doing good then

reproduction has been satisfied and

that's all Evolution cares about

Evolution never said hey let's make men

happy

instead

it went cheap

instead of making men happy with I don't

know how you do it but it'd be hard

men have been designed by Evolution

apparently

to believe that tomorrow is going to be

better

if they just give the woman what she's

asking for

she won't be unhappy tomorrow

because you will solve their problem

and if men did not have the illusion

that women have problems that can be

solved and then everything's good

because the problem is solved if we if

we could ever get out of that illusion

everything would be break

but men stay with it because we're

pretty sure that was just a temporary

problem

I'm sure that that won't happen again

tomorrow

and maybe it doesn't but it's a

different thing so here's the most the

most important thing you need to know

about women

they're designed to keep their man

unhappy

because if the man is happy he's not

going to do anything for him

If he if the woman projects herself as

being unhappy the man will say all right

all right you're ruining my whole day

I'll give you that thing and then

tomorrow because I solve this problem

tomorrow is going to be good

at least tomorrow is going to work out

and then the woman

realizes that this happy man isn't going

to give her anything so she gets unhappy

again

and then the guy's all right one more

day I'll just do this other thing

repeat forever

now

if men understood this

and I could even tell you and like we're

so trained to not see the world that way

that I can't just tell you and then you

can see it

um

but am I wrong

imagine just taking your own

relationship and imagine you took uh

Andrew Dane's advice

and man let me ask you this married men

he takes his advice if if your woman

doesn't give you what you want you just

walk out you say we're done

we're done how would that work in your

life

it wouldn't work at all it wouldn't work

at all

because you're not Andrew teen and you

can't get on your private jet and go to

another country and

and Will some Romanian girl that doesn't

know you right

now I'm not saying he hasn't worked

worked on a good system for himself

and I compliment him for that and Andrew

Tate is doing a great

career Financial you know energy monster

kind of job for himself

for himself

but I don't think his advice is going to

work for all of you necessarily

oh here's another category

uh advice for women about what men want

as if giving men what they want would

make a woman happy

I keep hearing you know women you have

to know that you know men need you know

some quiet time and you know they they

need to be appreciated and the advice

sounds really good

sounds really good like wow

seems like that those are all the things

the man would want do you know what's

wrong with that advice

you're giving advice to somebody who

doesn't want that advice

they know how to make the man happy

they keep him unhappy intentionally

because making him happy would be

terrible for them

they wouldn't get what they wanted like

I just said right they have to keep him

slightly unhappy all the time that's how

this entire operating system there's no

second way to do it

all right unless you know if there's

some rare very functional people

and

uh

here's here's one

this is just me being an

so I'll say it first so you don't have

to

so the fifth one on my list is just me

being a little bit of an

and the fifth one is advice from

relationship experts who spend most of

their time on the road

uh I'm just gonna let that sit there

yeah

I don't want to hear

I do not want to hear relationship

advice from somebody who doesn't have to

be home very much

you know what I mean

I feel like we'd all do a little bit

better

if we were home

and that that's especially what I feel

when I hear um and uh and to be honest

if you haven't picked it up a lot of

this is uh indirect criticism of Jordan

Peterson's relationship advice

now Jordan Peterson is genuinely

a super smart guy and when he says

things they always make sense right and

you know if people could do the things

that he's he's recommending they'd

probably be great but I think he does he

I think he does advice for functional

people who largely don't exist

and

he models being away from home a lot

because it seems like he gets around

I know I feel like that's got to be part

of it

and and he said something that I saw

yesterday I don't know when he said it

but I saw a clip of Jordan Peterson

saying that you know being a being a

High character man and and building a

you know functional relationship and

especially a family is really the only

thing that's going to make you happy

when you reach the age of 60.

have you ever heard him say that like

when you reach a certain age you know

all of your cheap joy and cheap sex and

all that it's not gonna that's not gonna

feed you once you're 60 what are you

going to do still be a playboy at 60.

now interestingly he just turned 60.

so that's his age

and

I was sitting there before before I

heard that at age 65. I was sitting

there thinking damn I just have good

days lately

like like ever since I you know I got

off that pharmaceutical nightmare a few

several weeks ago but I've had nothing

but good days like I wake up and I go oh

man

I'm gonna like have a nice walk in the

sun I'm I gotta get a massage later

like I'll just do one good thing after

another I'll go play with my dog

even the work I do

is work I don't mind doing I miss

arguably this is work but barely

and I was thinking to myself I was

perfectly happy and then I listened to

Jordan Peterson told me that I was you

know empty and had no no no chance of

happiness because I'm not in the family

and I thought

Maybe

we'll see he could be right about that

all right

um

did you hear CNN playing uh cell phone

cell phone conversation of a Russian

soldier in Ukraine calling his

girlfriend and complaining about

the Russian leadership

now that the

um I guess the uh

the summary of that

is that the the soldiers that the

Russian soldiers said that the

leadership got um

let's say shelled

and they packed up and they moved

further away from the front line

but they didn't move their troops

further from the front line

they didn't move the troops further and

the soldiers like what the hell like

we're just getting apparently half of

them had been wiped out

so they and and the soldier was talking

about

killing murdering their own Commanders

now I don't know if it's just one guy

spouting off to his girlfriend but he

actually said it you know there that

they were getting ready to go just kill

their own Commander and

and I you know who knows how

representative it is but one of the

things that the soldier said is that if

it wasn't for this you know ragtagged

bunch of people who were half of them

have been killed and they don't want to

be there that that's the only thing

keeping Ukraine from marching to Moscow

and I thought to myself

have the Russian soldiers Been Told

that they're protecting Moscow

do you think that they believe maybe

they've been propagandized the Ukraine

is the aggressor

do they believe that a Ukrainian

aggressor because maybe

I mean

uh you are ignorant concerning Jordan

Peterson igles says aren't we all

how could I not be ignorant about Jordan

Peterson

would I not need to read his mind to

have a complete picture

I I suppose you've done that have you

have you done the work you did some

research dug a little deeper developed a

machine that could read his mind

complete all the picture fill in all the

black the dots

all right well I just want to mock you a

little bit

for that

all right um

student loans so and let me let me

summarize everything that you hear out

of Ukraine is propaganda

you know I just have to remind you

because every once in a while people say

how did Scott

you know believe that propaganda I don't

believe it

I'm just saying it exists you shouldn't

believe anything out of Ukraine it is

entirely possible that the Russian

troops are right at the point of total

collapse

but I wouldn't bet on it right it's

possible

um

so the White House found a new way to

screw the country by extending the

student loan repayment until uh June

2023.

and that's an interesting time because

doesn't that mean that it would expire

it would expire before the election

is that when they wanted to expire

because then it looks like the Democrats

picked something that would expire

I think they want to make it look like

it's a Republican's fault I suppose I

could spin it that way

but anyway it's a

as weasel plans go

it's a pretty Weasley plant

the the fact that they're selling to

their idiot uh

their idiot base that they're actually

going to be able to get away with

this loan repayment stuff

it's just amazing to me

all right I want to I want to give you

my favorite story of the day you know as

you know I have a mascot does everybody

know who my mascot is

I want to make sure that I've got the

word around you is Keith olberman now

the way this works is that a mascot is

somebody who starts as just a Critic

but if they're really really good at it

or really energetic and really

entertaining

then they rise to the level of mascot so

in my life Keith olberman has been

criticizing me for 20 years and it's all

crazy and funny

so like once I realized he was my mascot

then I look forward to every time I hear

from him

so it just sort of turns it into a

positive but uh Tim Poole got himself a

mascot

so and and maybe a better one than mine

I mean I thought olberman would be hard

to top

but Tim Poole

he got himself

a good mascot

I'm going to play it for you

some little kids like that go get them

boys guys go get them please please vote

for our molesters and our pedophiles

Republicans say Republicans you're

guilty okay and I'll tell you right now

the number one reason they constantly

talk about pedophilia is because it's

going through their heads non-stop

they're thinking about kids I guarantee

it the reason Temple wears a beanie is

because he's trying to contain the

pedophilia that's in his head that's

what he's always talking about it he's

seeing it everywhere why because he's

projecting and the right way he's like

yes I love how they molest the little

kids like that go get them boys guys go

get em please please

foreign

Republicans say Republicans you're

guilty okay and I'll tell you right now

the number one reason they constantly

talk about pedophilia is because it's

going through their heads non-stop

they're thinking about kids I guarantee

it the reasons

um so uh

Temple retwees it

you know you've done a bad job as a

Critic when the target of your criticism

retweets it and the first part of the

retweet is LOL

I

said Tim Poole says LOL OMG this is

amazing it's weird because I'm not a not

Catholic conservative or republican like

they can't understand that Independents

oppose them too

uh anyone who isn't in the cult is

Republican and he says uh Jack I love

you buddy which is perfect

so if you want a lesson uh how to handle

uh your your craziest people

read with them and just give them an LOL

retweet and let people decide for

themselves so that that was about as

perfect as it could be

and uh my other favorite story

[Music]

Elon Musk

finds a closet full of uh stay woke

shirts

at Twitter

is the entire

entire closet full of secret closet of

hashtag work that's for sure here we are

at the most

thing that Elizabeth so

so everything that you imagined about

Twitter

is apparently true like every every like

everything you imagined that could be

maybe you know not quite ideal it was

all true

now

may I add my own suggestions

I think Elon Musk should take all these

shirts and give them to the homeless

not only that

but I think

I think that Republicans should make

lots more shirts that also have Democrat

slogans on them and also give them to

the homeless in fact I would give the

homeless free close forever as long as

that this is the free clothing had a had

a pro-democrat statement on it

and by the way I wouldn't have anything

anti-democrat it would be their own it'd

be like vote for Hillary

you know Joe Biden is my president you

know that sort of thing and just make it

free but you know good enough quality

and you know clean and maybe even do a

laundry service

now imagine offering laundry service for

the homeless

like actually literally wash their

clothes but also part of that provide

them new fresher clothes that have

Democrat slogans on

come on that's you love that idea

it's

yes democrats for Fentanyl

ah that would be funny all right

um and I saw a parody on Twitter that I

honestly couldn't tell I had to tweet to

ask if it was parody Or real good I

didn't care so it was somebody saying

that they were a fired uh fact Checker

at Twitter

and it was so spot on of what looks like

it could have been an actual fired fact

Checker at Twitter

that I couldn't tell it was hilarious

but I didn't know if it was hilarious

because it was parody Or it was

hilarious because it was real I actually

couldn't tell like legitimately

legitimately I didn't even have the best

guess now it turns out it was parody and

it was it was labeled parody in the

profile but I didn't want to check like

obviously I could have checked in a

second right but I didn't want to look

because I didn't want to know if it if

it was parody

I didn't want to know I want to I just

wanted to enjoy it for his beauty

without knowing for a while

um

here's another in the category of things

you suspected that turns out are totally

true

I saw Dinesh D'Souza a tweet where he

was talking about uh Twitter and said

that

um

that the censorship was deployed as a

one-way operation against conservatives

all right so that's a that's a big

statement right this is sort of

conspiracy theory statement you would

have heard you know a year and a half

ago and you would have said well that

just sounds like

you know Dinesh is making just a purely

political statement right so censorship

has been deployed as a one-way operation

against conservatives

and then Elon Musk replies in the

comments with one word

correct

correct

[Laughter]

now do you think that Elon Musk now

knows exactly

uh how things were being being censored

and why

probably

probably

musk knows exactly who got censored and

why and as someone else pointed out

maybe it was Dinesh pointed out I think

Dinesh pointed out that you're not

seeing a bunch of band leftists coming

back on the platform

do you know why

because there weren't any and there

weren't any

it was exactly what you thought it was

it was just a way to suppress

conservatives apparently

all right

um

so ladies and gentlemen I feel like

there was a few funny stories that I

missed

uh

oh the krasenstein brothers yeah you

know

Kathy Griffin

well Kathy Griffin was sort of a special

case wasn't she and you know I thought

it was uh funny and smart

the musk brought Kathy Griffin back in

the first wave of people brought back

because that showed he was at least

considering you know both sides of the

aisle for for comebacks and I thought

that was just a smart way to play it

uh do I have a my pillow promo code I

don't

I do need some new pillows though I

should get some

um

now how many of you are noticing a an

improvement in the troll criticism

activity on Twitter

I would say that my my troll

troll traffic is down at least 80

percent

in fact I'll even go further the people

who criticize me now might actually be

real people

they might actually just be people who

disagree with me

it feels very different yeah I I can

feel my metabolism

doesn't do the same thing it did even a

year ago on Twitter a year ago on

Twitter I could feel my body catch on

fire after a few tweets

but that doesn't happen now I when I

checked Twitter now it feels like a

pleasant informational humorous

kind of experience doesn't it feels very

different now but here's my question

a hundred percent of my tweets

still instantly get a uh a spam

I think you've all seen it it pretends

to be Elon Musk giving away something

right but it's all fake but it's instant

and it's as soon as I tweet how in the

world can Twitter not stop that

because the content of the Tweet is

always the same

they don't have any way to instantly

look for you know Elon Musk is not

giving away any Bitcoins or whatever the

hell this is

you've never seen it

are you serious it's in every one of my

tweets including today it happens

instantly

let me let me let me do a test

let me do a test I'm going to do a non

like just a nothing tweet

uh testing

how long

before the

spam hits my comments

because I do wonder if anybody's

watching to see if the content of my

tweet is one that they want to connect

to

so I don't know if it's content related

so I'm going to Tweet this

and if it's automatic the the spam will

be there like usually it's the first

first comment

so let's just test it

Let's test that tweet if any of you are

watching it at the same time

all right

um

the first two comments are not spam

so it's possible that there are humans

deciding which ones to attach the spam

to

do you think that's how it works

do you think a human is doing it

because it happened so quickly

it looks like it's automated

if it doesn't if it doesn't pop up in

like a minute then I won't believe it's

automated

and let's see

show more replies of course more

replies on this one than normal of

course

all right well

I don't see it so I just I guess I don't

know if it's automatic

Erica the excellent has already weighed

in on this tweet

and you're right you're correct Erica

all right

um

is there any stories I missed that don't

involve

Mass tragedies

affected what about Kanye's tweet about

asking Trump to be his running mate oh

did he do that

well

oh Alex Berenson and Tom Elliott are in

a Twitter argument on weed

so Berenson was sort of anti-weed right

so there's one

um

statistic that I follow for weed is life

expectancy

the the only study I've seen

comparing uh you know frequent weed

users with the rest of the public

showed that their life expectancy was

greater than the regular public

now I don't trust studies so I'd have to

see more but what I don't trust is the

ones that say uh this looks like wheat

is even worse for your lungs than

whatever

because it feels like

all those things are suggestive of a

problem that doesn't show up in total

mortality and Attila shows up in total

mortality

have you ever heard of anybody dying of

a weed related problem

have you ever heard you didn't smoke

cigarettes but he died of lung cancer

I've never heard of it

I mean maybe it happens

uh Ali is still suspended Ali Alexander

is still expended somebody says

yeah he's going to be he's going to be

an edge case too

oh I forgot my best joke

can you mentally go back with me in time

I've got to rewind all right

this will be worth it watch this it'll

be just like this it hadn't already

happened and you hadn't already watched

it

so Tim Poole has a new uh mascot uh

Chang uh oyer or uyghur I don't know how

to pronounce his last name

um and you may know Jenkins the poor

man's Alex Jones

okay that's all I wanted to do

now now back back where we were

he's the poor man's Alex Jones

come on that's pretty good

um by the way this is one of my favorite

jokes or a joke is structures

I love the joke structure when you say

somebody is the poor man's somebody else

because you can do it for almost anybody

you'd find somebody who just swear

reminds you of them and is you know

worse or better in some way and then you

say they're the poor man it's always

funny

um

somebody says I'm the poor man's Jordan

Peterson see

that's perfect that and that works yeah

calling me the poor man's Jordan

Peterson is perfect

yeah that is the exact

that that's how you do that

well executed well executed

now I try to be consistent on the

following point

if somebody criticizes me or insults me

in a way that's legitimately funny

I'm just going to go with the joke

I'll just ignore the criticism yeah

because usually it's about the joke not

the criticism and I'll just appreciate

it I appreciate a good joke at my

expense if it's well

well-formed and you know you're going

for the laugh that's fine

um

yay tweeted to use that bar Lago

yeah do you think that uh

do you think that anything can redeem

Kanye

when he does the you know I'm Jewish

stuff

um here's how he could redeem himself

Kanye could just deny and say you know

all that uh I'm more Jewish than the

Jewish people

you know I did some more research and I

found out that uh you know that wasn't

all it was cracked up to be you know

that the research didn't pan out and

then just say

I did more work and now I changed my

mind

could he do that

if you saw Kanye say you know

everybody criticized me I looked into it

and I gotta say

that was just a mistake

I believe he could pull that off

he could pull though because you know

what you know what America really

forgives

well what is it that America is really

forgiving for

we we forgive honest mistakes

when somebody owns it

right if you own your mistake

people

are way okay with you right and I always

thought that was part of Trump's magic

if Trump had said

um elect to be president yea is the poor

man's Kanye that's pretty good uh part

of Trump's Magic

is that he never told he he was a High

character person

and so when things you know the

accusations came out that would go to

his character you would say ah oh yeah

you did tell us that I guess that was

pretty transparent

he actually said running for president

I'm No Angel

I'm No Angel

that is the clear statement you could

ever get that if you dig around you're

going to find some stuff you don't like

but that's not what I'm proposing as

president

as president I'm proposing to do these

things for you I'm not proposing to date

you

right

I'm not I'm not proposing to

sexually harass you so you could care

about it but that's not my proposition

so I'll give you that that's you got

some things in my closet there you're

not gonna like

yeah

um so I think

that yay is a a sympathetic character

meaning that people are primed to want

to like it

would you agree

I think people are primed to want to

like him

so all you have to do is just give us a

path

but he made it impossible

because what am I going to say

oh I agree with the guy saying

anti-semitic things like it just cuts me

off

like I'm not going to go there

so he has to fix that but I want him to

I would like him to fix it like us all

to learn something from it

yay literally and then move on I'd be

fine with that you know I don't think

yay has ever told told us he's complete

has he

has yeah ever said you know

I've got my completely together

you know why don't you be more like me

quite the opposite quite the opposite he

is all he has always told you he's a

that he's basically a mess

who happens to be an artistic genius

both true

he's an artistic genius maybe a business

genius until recently and and he's also

a mess but he's transparent about it you

know mental problems and all

um

Ice Cube passed up 9 million because of

the jab and so he lost some work because

is that what you're saying

yeah he

he's still interesting though

all right

um

anybody watching the World Cup

I guess

Lionel Messi his team lost to Saudi

Arabia

wow

that was a shocker if you don't follow

soccer you don't realize what a you know

World bending shocker that was

now here's a little tip for you

if you don't like watching soccer and

that would be common of a number of

Americans

spend five minutes looking for highlight

reels of Lionel Messi scoring goals

and

it's not like watching soccer

right soccer is a lot of people trying

stuff that doesn't work

oh I tried that pass but somebody got it

oh I tried to get past that guy but he

stopped me it's like a whole bunch of

people who aren't quite good enough to

play soccer playing soccer it looks like

and then Lionel Messi

we'll just dribble through like 13 of

them in a row and then score this

ridiculous goal into the corner and you

watch that and you say I don't know what

I even saw like I don't even know how

any that's possible and you also have to

remember that Messi was told he was too

small to play professional soccer

because he's small

and he's the best player in the world

so you know I guess maybe I root for him

for you know overcoming that obstacle as

well but when you watch Lionel Messi

it's not like watching soccer

you're watching it almost looks like

it's not possible it looks like magic or

something so do yourself a favor

five minutes

of Lionel Messi

YouTube highlight reel it'll just blow

your mind you you won't believe people

can do what he does

he was put on ghg during puberty we'll

see

how tall is he

Alexa how tall is Lionel Messi

he's five seven

all right

ladies and gentlemen I believe that's

just about all I have for today

um this might be

the best live stream you've ever seen

Tom Brady is the poor man's Lionel Messi

okay

maybe there is a limit to that there

might be a limit to how well that joke

works

huh

um

did

exception to the rule

all right

um yeah the news was interesting but

there wasn't much of it today so I'm

gonna go do some other stuff

and

all of you have a great day on YouTube

I'll talk to the locals people in a

minute